There are many challenges that rise as a pregnant working woman. Many times it can take an emotional toll on you. It’s very difficult to understand all that you’re going through, when one, you have never had a successful pregnancy and two, are recovering from a loss. Pregnancy already comes with the morning sickness, hormonal changes and with a great deal of doctor appointments. But add to that, a very physically demanding job, as well as fear of loss. All of these things can make you feel overwhelmed and slightly uneasy.
I’ve worked with children with special needs and children in general for the vast majority of my adult life. For those who are familiar with this field, you know the challenges that can be present in the work environment. It’s not an easy job and you depend on your team to ensure you are providing all individuals with adequate care and support.
After the loss of my first pregnancy, I made the choice of leaving a job that left me scarred for life. They thought of me as an asset, but yet when my performance became low due to the loss of my child. This job made me feel incompetent and made it clear they didn’t approve of my performance. I took the time to explain that I had not been able to perform my best, due to the loss I had experienced. The administrator at that time handling that conversation looked at me and said, “that sounds like a personal problem.” As I sat in that office, I realized the lack of soft skills this administrator possessed and realized that this job was never going to be a place I would ever feel safe or supported.
I moved on to a different job, one with a completely different environment. I was truly a very fortunate woman to have made the change. Although, I was considered transient in my position; I was blessed to start a new pregnancy where I felt safe and supported. At the same time of my pregnancy two other people from my team became pregnant. It almost felt like a miracle. Our team consisted of four women that made it happen.
In the beginning of my pregnancy, I was very hesitant to even speak about it. I wanted to wait until after the first trimester in order to ensure the baby was ok. I remember getting the call on a Wednesday that confirmed my pregnancy through blood work. I was still at work. I was shaking and scared out of my mind. I had already taken multiple pregnancy tests at home but to hear those words through my health care professional changed things. It made it real!
I remember our team leader asking me, “is everything ok?” I explained that I had just gotten a call to confirm my pregnancy. I explained that I wanted to wait until I received the call to let them know. Soon enough these three wonderful women approached me and hugged me. I had shared about my loss in the past and they were aware of my struggle with infertility. They knew how much this meant to me. There was this feeling of relief in me at that point! And though we worked in a very physically demanding job, I felt safe.
Working with two pregnant women in my team made me feel understood. The cravings, the morning sickness, the heart burn, shortness of breath, the heat, the influx of emotions; we had it all. But I didn’t feel ashamed to ask to run to the bathroom, or to open up about my feelings. We all shared about our pregnancies, our ultrasounds, our gender reveals, our due dates, baby showers. We all talked about these things and it created a safety net that made me feel comfortable and happy to go to work. Actually it’s funny because our fellow teams from other rooms would say, “Don’t drink the water in that room!” But Thank Heavens for the water in that room! I was truly the luckiest woman in the world, all three of us were pregnant and had little boys. They do say that they come in three.
Although being in a team with pregnant women was amazing, we also had an amazing team player that was very supportive during this time. She might not have been pregnant, but she was a fellow mommy as well. Having her was truly a blessing, especially because we couldn’t do heavy lifting and when things escalated with our job duties, she was there to provide the physical support. She really carried the team during this time! She truly was and still is such a selfless woman and I am thankful for her! I am thankful for these three amazing women, that made my fear dissipate and empowered me during this much needed time.
Being pregnant in the workplace really empowered me to learn more. It taught me to advocate for myself and my needs as a pregnant individual because my needs mattered! I learned that asking for help wasn’t “a personal problem,” instead is performing at the best of one’s abilities. Developing communication and building relationships that boost morale and create an environment of productivity. This is essential for a healthy pregnancy. We were women, some pregnant, some not, but with all the desire to help young individuals. So indeed powerful amazing women.
This time also help me be considerate to other pregnant individuals. In my personal life, in my work life and mothers altogether. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first, second or third pregnancy. It doesn’t matter if you’ve had a loss. What matters is that you feel supported, loved and cared for. Accepting that you have limitations should not make you feel intimidated! Remember pregnancy is a challenging time and you are creating a human being or being supportive of an individual that is.
My hope for you is that during your journey you are blessed to find these wonderful people. And if your workplace is not making you feel this way, know your worth and have the courage to move forward! Put your best foot forward and know that no single paycheck or job will ever equate to your mental health and or your physical health. You are not irreplaceable and neither are they. I pray that when you do find that team that makes you feel supported, you are able to build significant relationships that will last you a very long time. But most importantly that you find gratitude in your heart and one day pay it forward to a fellow teammate!
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